I am the cause of global warming. Fine, fine, not the whole thing. But when that tipping point comes and it all goes to hell, know that if it weren’t for me, we could have been able to stave it off for probably another couple hours or so. I’m not referring just to my general consumption of energy. As far as that goes, I’ve been making a concerted effort to reduce the amount of emissions over the past year (I still mean to belatedly take Slate’s Green Challenge). However, this is all negated by the sheer number of empty loads of laundry I’ve run.

This happened just a few minutes ago. My apartment happens to be dandy enough to have its own washer and dryer in the hallway. It’s one of the things that sold me on the place. As I was composing an email to some friends, it struck me that a) the washer is taking much longer than usual, and b) hey, that’s the dryer, not the washer.

I do this at least once a month. Though my washer and dryer share the same control panel, that’s not the sole reason I goof. In my last apartment, where I actually had to pay to use the machines, I still managed to do it with frequency. One outstanding night, I did both an empty load in a washer and an empty load in a dryer. To my chagrin, I discovered this right when I was about to retire for the evening.

I’m trying to conserve. But sometimes, my inept laundry skills trump my good intentions.

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About John D. Moore

Writer, cartoonist, filmmaker, and student of Japanese language, literature, and cinema at the University of Utah.

One response »

  1. jesus christ, you fucking noob

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