New Year’s resolutions don’t seem to work. I’m sure there’s a hilarious anecdote I could tell you about what happened to the titular character in the comic strip, “Cathy,” but I’d rather not (you see, it probably wouldn’t actually be hilarious). I bring this up not because of the pending new year (2007, I think, may very well suck, just for the record), but rather because of my recent resolution.

Here’s the story: About two months ago, I started a job as a production assistant at an advertising agency. One of my responsibilities is stocking the fridges with a wide assortment of sodas. Naturally, they had all my favorites (Coke, Coke with Lime). So I had a couple a day for about two weeks. However, I hadn’t had much soda recently – sure one or two here or there once a week, but it struck me to how unaccustomed to soda I had become.

Let me take this story back further about two years. In 2004, I was drinking a shitload of Coke. By my calculations I was drinking roughly one hundred fluid ounces a day (yes, that’s unhealthy). I loved the taste and also had developed quite a caffeine addiction. Fortunately, I began to get my fix from coffee instead, which is both a) the best drink ever and b) better for one’s health. Though I’d cut back drastically, I still liked to keep a 12-pack of Coke on-hand or was liable to buy a twenty from the gas station.

However, after drinking two Cokes one afternoon at this job, as I could feel a habit redeveloping, I said to myself, “I need to stop drinking soda.” And I have. Boom. Right there. Cold fucking turkey.

I’ve made some allowances: I allow myself to (much like a smoker who will smoke only at a bar) drink with fast food – though I still usually opt for water or no drink – or anything with alcohol in it (I can’t just pass up a rum and Coke).

I theorize that had I decided instead to give it up “for 2k7,” I would have found it much more difficult, still pursuing the habit until the arbitrary division between the years rolled around and the desire was neither as strong nor immediate. Not that I’ve ever been one for New Year’s resolutions (or the whole New Year thing either) in the first place.

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About John D. Moore

Writer, cartoonist, filmmaker, and student of Japanese language, literature, and cinema at the University of Utah.

One response »

  1. Yarjka says:

    I say, stick with resolutions that you know you can handle. Here’s a resolution for you: drink a Coke whenever you feel like drinking Coffee, and drink Coffee whenever you feel like drinking Coke. See how your body likes that shit.

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